Alright, it's December 7th, 2020, about 6.58 am. And I'm on the 101 heading to work. Nice sunrise off to my left. I'm passing all in Polly right now. So I'm early morning. It was a nice early mist. It's about 10 feet off the ground. Off to the river side. So second day since I returned back from Egypt. And yeah, we need to kind of collect my thoughts both in terms of how I'm feeling emotionally. And how I just identify, you know, I have thoughts about the story. I had those two. I had a cough pretty much the whole time while I was in Egypt. I think it was allergies, like this, A fever. The dust is just killing me. It doesn't respond. And I think it's subsiding. We'll see. I mean, it definitely subsided when I went to a small and I went to a red sea. So I've noticed. I watched the golden blobs on Sunday when I came to the field of hair cut. And it was kind of funny. Happy to see Rami win award. And happy to see that the future goes at least. Showed that if anything, he was dishonest and dishonest. Or honest, he was dishonest. One of the two. The conflicts were there. I didn't exclude them completely from the show. There was clearly an awkward response more than there was laughter. And as far as I'm concerned, that's all that was needed. And about everything from Jeffrey Epstein was not did not commit suicide to the hypocritical approach to film making. The choice of films by big Silicon Valley companies who are clearly trying to improve their PR while at the same time not using up in one bit in terms of how they manipulate the market. They abuse the market. How they force the hand of countries, other subservient corporations to them. And yeah, so there's a lot of skeletons in their closet on one side when they're trying to find a great way out of it. You can't buy your way to equal parts of East America right? And what are you going to do, right? We're slaves to these devices. I mean, I'm using one right now. I would love not to, but I can't write in a journal and drive at the same time. And when I want the text to speech or speech to text, feature of the phone is killer. You can't do it in one way. So anyway, I'm trying to, you know, the third or fourth time, I don't know that when I go on vacation to Egypt, I come up with a new version of the story. And it's clearly some sort of emotional response to my trip and to the imagined place that I'm visiting. But why does it come out in a story? That's what I don't understand. Is it that story is my legacy? Probably. But I think every year I go, I have a new story and I improve upon it. And they've been really strong ever since I've discovered the letters. So there's something going on there. Right? It's almost like the power of the letters or the letters themselves have some sort of power. I mean, my parents have, I don't even know if I would have felt it had I not found the letters. That's another thing. And so, yeah. But before I start talking about the story, I want to talk about more about how I think things have improved with Heidi and me a lot. It has to do with mainly her kind of unfortunate, but fortunate for her discovery that her aunt Mimi has a free cancerous condition diagnosis. Which seems to indicate that there is some hereditary marker. Heidi, this whole time, has been beating herself up. And when I say beat herself up, it's turned her into like just depressed, you know, person. And she thought she hated herself for giving herself cancer. And because she hated herself, she couldn't enjoy the company of anyone. It was really hard for her to be around people. I mean, obviously she had friends that made her feel good. But I was especially one of the ones who just, I could feel like she was just so tense around me. And then all of a sudden, everything changed as far as she was concerned when she found out that it has to be hereditary. Even though they may not have found the gene, it's so compelling that she had a relative on her father's and mother's side who both had some form or another breast cancer. And it's given her a lot of relief to know that it basically wasn't her fault. And that improved things so much for us. And I don't know how long we were able to begin to meet again. Yeah, it was really nice. She looks at me, she'll turn her eyes away. And she takes pictures of me. Yeah. I can see you, that she's really rediscovering everything. And happy. But yeah, other than that, I would have to say, if she hadn't discovered that, I mean that was killer, that improved things by so many degrees. But there were other things that were going on that clearly were indicating her situation. Like, I mean the interpersonal relationships with her siblings, you know, and constantly worried that she's taking all of her parents' attention. And the other two, her brother and sister are kind of on the back burner. You know, her brother is not afraid to calmly tell things like they are with her. And I appreciate that. Because I can't do that. Okay, maybe I'm wrong about the cough. I don't know. It's like it's going back. That's a lot of that. Let me pause this. Or apologize.

Okay, so back again. Now I'm passing on the name of the exit to the boys' schools. We're seeing Vincent's is, but I see an object in my left. Sun sets getting a little bit sunrise. Sorry, I was getting a little bit brighter. Clouds have a nice... ...burned orange... ...like pink orange, pinkish orange, you to them. I know there's a color for that. I don't know the name. Traffic is rolling. So now I'm pumping a bumper. I'm doing about 30 miles an hour. Yeah, so... ...if there was anything that bothered me on the trip, it was obviously not being able to be close to Heidi, but then I really... I didn't mind because I could tell she cared. She just didn't know how to care. She was wonderful if it kids. And happy to be around all her family. That was her nuclear family. She didn't really want to be around her other family. I don't blame her. You know... That's a typical reaction of hers. I mean, she grew up in the center of attention around everybody. So she... ...you know, doesn't really... ...I personally feel like she cannot put herself in other people's shoes to the point where she can... ...make a sacrifice for someone else. This is what I observe. I'm not saying that she doesn't want to, but she doesn't exhibit. She may make sacrifices in other ways, and I'm not sure. I'm not saying she has them, and I can be talking to her in other ways. So, yeah. I was... ...and even, you know, she made it clear to me she didn't want to see my family. And to be honest, be brutally honest. I don't care whether or not I see my family. I mean, I care that they might care. But it's so awkward around them. I really don't know what to do. You know... Here's this cousin who lives in the United States, and pretty much acts like an American. Doesn't really ever talk to us throughout the year until he decides to come to Egypt. And we have to host him, because we feel sorry for him, or because, you know, Tonsousen, who is the oldest member of the family, blood member, you know, makes everybody feel guilty. I don't know. So, yeah. Um... What else? So, yeah. So, Heidi didn't want to see anyone, because of some minor problems. There was this whole rat meat saga. I am sorry, I do not believe that for one second. Heidi imagined what is basically the sinewit tendon material of meat. And this took it for hide and a tail, period. No one in the right mind when you rat. So, um... And it tasted like beef. So, please, rat does not taste like beef. I can guarantee you that. The size of the animal determines the taste. Driving past the uh... The smoke stack of the Marinsibic Center. It's got this nice cloud of smoke around. It's pretty cool. The furnace or whatever the main vent. Um... What else? So, yeah. It's time to talk about the story. Maybe. Just now getting approaching the... ...livating. I mean... And Lincoln Avenue exit is right here, the one right after it. And the Civic Center, so another final, I'll be happy with my baby. So, yeah. Let me uh... ...pause it and start a new recording.

Alright, I'm now pretty much on the elevated part of the freeway over Central St. Rafael. There's some beautiful birds, flock of birds flying over the buildings. Sunrise has almost become yellowish blue now. Traffic is still a little... That's not what I want to talk about. I want to talk about all my thoughts on the story of flight of horse. So, so, horse, flight of horse, a journey story, a journey story that, you know, has many branches to it, like a tree. And for like flock of birds, you know, that you could watch. For, I forget how you say a gaggle of these flying in V formation, but there are multiple formations. Each leader has some sort of, you know, captivates the others. They follow him. They listen to him. So, on some path. And if that gaggle breaks up, a new leader will form. I mean, he's pretty much never flying solo. I mean, the only rare service that's in the city. So, the main thoughts that I've had right now would be how to introduce Rosa, and how to introduce her own conflict. What is her conflict? She's bored out of her mind. She's living in the wrong place. So, she's out of place. You know, she doesn't know who or what she wants to be. She needs direction. She loves to write stories. But, you know, she's, she's struggled with zero recognition of her stories. You know, she's submitted manuscripts to various publishers and I've heard nothing back. And so, she's on the verge of giving up. She had a pet bird that recently died. So, she's seriously down in the dumps. She's ready to do anything to change her situation. She's never really had stable boyfriend because they just don't understand her. I mean, she wanted to talk of literature to all these essentially farmboids. We're only interested in hustling for quick short term water cash so they could drink and party. We're going to be living in an area where there's simply cotton and oil. It's really hard to find out. We're lying on some other means to make money. She went to Texas Tech. Study, Tejhano studies. And, I had friends who lived in Lubbock. Her college roommate. Trying to decide if she commuted from Lemisa to Lubbock. I don't know for that drive. It seems like a long ride. Excuse me. So, yeah. I thought she could get a job at the newspaper. But, go on. You know, they're not paying for riders anymore. Of the kind of material that she wants to write. So, she's basically found herself. Behind the desk. Of the classifieds. And like the customer servicing classifies the division of the Dawson. Local paper. And she's been doing that for about 10 years now. She's been living in her parent's house. Paid already so. She's basically just paying property taxes and utilities. From her and her to her to her income. And that's, you know, she's been getting by. She, she, uh, she's not hurting for money, but she's not going anywhere. And so, this stagnancy is kind of driving her crazy. And so, and it's in the middle or the peak of all this that she meets. Of course. Now, that me. So that's like her background. Um, but that's not how she actually comes to connect with us. You know, she meets him, but she doesn't connect with him until they see eye to eye on the airplane. But from the moment that she reads his last name on the, uh, uh, well-disposal. Add, you know, add. Uh, notice application, whatever. That, uh, she has to, uh, you know, she, she doesn't really pay attention to me now. What is it? What is it that attracts that that sparks an interest in here within her? That's what I have to figure out. On the next recording.