I was denying it existed.(what is the antithesis of this?)
I was like a child trying to learn geometric perspective and struggling with my own vanishing point.
that the parallel lines of art and my own existence would ever converge.
In much the same way that a child might deny the existence of a vanishing point
I would soon discover the truth
I was in the final stages of a decaying denial.
I was in the middle of a prefabricated life, (building scene - life as pyramid),
trying to understand how I arrived at this place. How many
caught between forever and ever.
proud of my accomplishments, but
unimpressed with the predetermined nature of human existence.
College.
Graduate School.
Marriage.
Travel
More Graduate School
More Travel
Job
House
More Travel
Wife Gets PhD
Wife Gets Job
More Travel
New House
Wife Gets Pregnant
New Baby
Child begins school
New Baby
New House
Is that all there is?
I felt as if I had lost something.
Something very important to the meaning of my life.
I began searching everywhere for the answer.
Art (perspective)
Nature (beauty is all around us)
Literature (conflict is a fact of life)
Diet (healthy body, healthy mind)
Sports (play acting war) Greek war dance pyrrhic
Music and dance (liminality, escape from reality)
Nothing helped.
I felt like a solitary line on an empty page convincing myself that the horizon was real.
(The most difficult part of it was convincing my eyes that a horizon exists.)
Then one night, my life changed in the blink of an eye.
in the form of a female spirit.
waking me from my sleep.