Testing, testing, one, two, three.
Alright, it's Tuesday, December 17, 451 pm. And I'm in my car on my way out. Just getting my water bottle here. And I'm getting a snack. My cheese and my beef stick. Very important stuff here. Yeah, so I'm trying to stay in the habit of dictation to myself. I'm taking my keyboard. And as an away eventing. My days are, I don't know, tough when both Heidi is not feeling well and has a busy day and has to watch Leila and she'll get, I guess, the upset that she's sick and then probably upset that, like, you know, I'm not helping her. I don't know. I have to get to work so that I can help my co-workers. And that's essentially what I have to do. We have to make sure that everybody's code is working so that we can deliver the new giving portal on time. And the very first thing that happens in the office is James comes and asks for help. And he literally needs help, he hasn't. Obviously, I can, so they're going to say, why haven't you learned it? I'm not going to be able to do it. So I feel, I feel caught between, Gerald also wants to hang out. I don't really want to hang out. I don't. I am tired. And the conversation, as far as I can tell, if I were to hang out with him tonight, he's going to be one side. I mean, I think, you know, conveniently blind to my needs right now, or, you know, our relationship hasn't been one of my needs. I act like an unmediate person. I don't know. So, there's that. Yeah, I just feel guilty having to tell him. That I may not be able to see him tonight. And then what kind of relationship is it where I don't want to hang out with my friends? So, yeah. I think I need to, and Rusty's going to give me a ride to the airport. And that's going to be really awkward if I don't hang out with him before the... Okay, am I using him for the airport? And we got to make sure Dave gets his garage door opener. And, yeah. But I'm also frustrated with Heidi because, you know, she... You know, I'm tired at the end of the day and I want to hear... So, officially, I want to hear a happy voice. I didn't hear what. I guess I didn't ask her directly what's wrong, or I could tell she was upset and she didn't want to talk about it. And then... Yeah. I don't know why she has to fast. There's no reason she has to fast. And I think the fasting is hurting her stomach. She's stressed and, you know... She's got to make her workload easier. I don't know why her workload seems so hard. What is she doing that's making it so hard? And I know today she wanted a massage. She didn't get it, so she's probably stressed out about that. Right now. I don't know what else to tell you. So, I'm nervous that Laila is going to be sick. She might be sick, but staying home isn't going to make any difference. There's hurts when you're tired at the end of the day and you want to hear... You know, I'm so tired of hearing this resentful voice. She'll never say that. She'll never say she's angry or resentful, so... But I feel it. So... Yeah, I don't know what to do. I mean, obviously I have to try and help her. I'm probably so tired at the end of the day. I want to not go to work either or I want to. I don't even want to go to work tomorrow, but I probably have to. Maybe I'll go in late or something. So, this is a stressful part of the drive where everyone's trying to cut me off so they can get on the freeway. So, I'm getting on the 580 now towards Point Richmond, San Rafael. Anyway, other than that, I mean, everybody at work seemed fine. It was a little... I felt like it was a little awkward talking to Rob because I couldn't tell if he felt like I was upset for having to do this extra work that technically was on his plate. I don't know, but then again, I don't want to do that cool fusion work my way. And if he asked me at the technical group, I don't want to be a manager. So, maybe he's trying to do that, maybe he's trying to... Who knows? I don't know. And then I wish James, but I can tell he's tired, he's apparent. Both of those guys are apparent. The level of debugging that perhaps I'm used to is difficult. I mean, Rob does some major surgery on the servers, of course, but I guess that's not the case. I guess that can be really hard sometimes. And James, well, yeah, he's still learning data structures, how to spot issues like... Trying to do good else. Yeah, it's really stressful. I guess the general is really creating a lot of stress. We should try and bring him up at all. I know, high-dise, probably stressed. But, yeah. I don't know what she wants though. She probably just wants me to come home, cook dinner, you know, let the kids in. Let me call her and see that I have to remind myself. Don't get upset. Listen to her. Apologize for bugging the issue. Show her that you are understanding of the way she feels. And don't try and give her some prescriptive kind of language. Yeah. Take two. Bye.