Testing, testing, one, two, three...
Alright, it's 8.55 a.m. Monday, February 24th. I'm approaching Lincoln Avenue exit. Just past the Marin Civic Center on my way to work on the 101. What interesting thing happened this morning? Layla woke up and showed me her Gacha live app. It's an app. It's like a comic book app. You make your characters and you make your stories and little skits and stuff like that. They look like Japanese anime. You know kindergarten characters kind of thing. I don't know. She was showing me a little skit where I guess one girl called one girl loser and then the other girl kicked her and said no you're the loser. You can tell Layla has a strong emotional reaction to injustice but she's shy. She needs to realize that you can't fight hate with hate. What else over the weekend? So obviously my last dictation was on Thursday. I met with Dr. Stern on Friday. That was more than what I expected. Yeah I was I think of it. I think that I could just go you know the first first meeting with her was just like yeah I spilled everything felt good but perhaps maybe that's the calm before the storm and the second time around. We went into very slight more details. She was you know when I told her that my mom was hospitalized and obviously I don't mean like hospital hospital. I mean like care facility or PTSD. I was clearly either I must have been a senior. I was told at the time there's no way either maybe she had a grandmother's day with us. I just I can't remember. I can't remember who stayed with us. I have a brother because I have no idea. I don't think there is a way that she would have left us by ourselves. I have no idea who it must have been at a time where I could drive. I knew and must have been at a time where either toss was in high school with me. It had to be something like that. I mean there's no way. Yeah her reaction to it is clear that I'm not telling the story correctly or it didn't happen that way. But I think it's more that my emotions are telling the story where I was basically saying my mom wasn't there for me. And even if I don't get it right it doesn't matter whether or not I get it right. It matters that I deal with this. So yeah. I really really do figure that out. It must be that my grandmother stayed with us. Who else would have stayed with us? Who else would have? We didn't go and live at someone's house. It's so clear how I don't know. Anyway yeah. I talked about that. You know she also thought it was interesting that I didn't want to read my parents letters anymore. She said they're your letters now you can read them. Yes. And finally yeah. I told her about my dad. I asked her where I was. I broke up with the soccer team. Oh that kind of stuff. So anyway yeah. And at the end of course I realized that we've run out of time and that she wants to see me pretty much once a week. So yeah. We just have to do this. It wasn't here for this but yeah. So it's weird that I just pay her in cash. And now she wants cash. I don't know. There's no way she can afford $20 for me. So I need to know if she actually would file a complaint or not. So that's a nice thing I think we'll get to. Yeah. I think she went to my insurance card so. But I guess that's all I'm supposed to know. So yeah. What else. I didn't really get to do well. I did. I would work in over the weekend. They'll do a little bit of that. Kareem Metabasquel game was pretty exciting. Just so happen that we sat with Tessa and Eric. I didn't really realize. Of course I didn't recognize her. Or I did recognize her but I couldn't remember her name because I like met her twice. And I didn't like the fact that she wasn't really doing the same either. But to me that's just not as bad as like how they constantly. When you talk to someone like when you talk to them all it feels like they're bragging about what they do. Even they don't know how to say anything else and they don't feel like they're bragging. I don't need to have. I don't need to talk that away. I don't need to be around people who just constantly tell me oh how they have made this conscientious choice in their lives. And they're going to be different than everyone else. And it's great. And we have the financial means to do all of that. It's like dude you're apologizing for a life that you either are glad you're living or and you know it. I don't get it. It's just like not everybody has a life like you. And if you think that for one second people. Well you know because I was so good at the stock market and then I decided I didn't want to be good anymore. Well why didn't you fucking give that money away to charity. Now you earned it and now you want to go shit. I'm sorry. Don't tell me that's why you earned your money. Or you know it's like don't tell me you earned all this money and then now you want to be a good person. Well I'm sorry traveling the world with your family and renting so that you can always be like mobile and buying homes so that you don't tell me you're good. You're you're some conscientious person you're just like everybody else.